A Special Aspect of Resilience for Caregivers

Caregivers – and the often unnecessarily tough situations they deal with, heroically. 

 The thought in this piece was sparked by true incidents that I witnessed up close recently. And the theme has broader applicability into other aspects of our lives every day – such as in our workplace and career.

 Context :-

Caregivers who are family are increasingly vital in today’s aging society. Besides devoting their time and effort, they usually end up spending their money too as they provide love & affection for ailing dependents such as parents. 

Let us also remember that, like they suggest in airplane safety demonstrations that everyone should focus on wearing the oxygen mask on themselves first before trying to help the next person. That person might even be your own child. Yet it is our duty to ensure we are taking all measures to keep ourselves in holistic health & good spirits if we want to be of help to others sustainably.

The situation :-

 In the last few weeks I was providing care for a close family member who underwent an invasive surgery when I noticed this happen right in front of me in hospital:

The person receiving care, instead of expressing a genuine feeling of gratitude (because, let’s face it, many of us will NOT have that luxury – like having responsible, loving, filial children who have the time & mental fortitude needed to be there), go out of their way to callously blast the caregiver with tragically hurtful jibes!!

The patient yelled at her caregiver (in public) that they hate them, wish they were never born, were the cause of all their life’s misery, etc. etc.

This uncalled-for and unforeseeable attack (a crushing sucker punch) can be beyond devastating to the emotional wellbeing and the fundamental motivation of the caregiver, especially those who have just started in the role. 

 Now, here’s a question I have for our Coaching community:

Is the caregiver supposed to believe those words as true sentiments of the patient? 

If yes, what is the caregiver supposed to do – get up and leave immediately, never to come back? 

A contrarian, perhaps controversial take – Perhaps that act would not be entirely wrong in two circumstances:

(a) the caregiver has already reached his or her own limit of tolerance and is nearing breakdown.

(b) the person receiving care was of sound mind i.e. not classified as senile or with dementia. 

 If the above two conditions are not yet met though, the caregiver can consider IGNORING those hurtful words and STILL continue to provide care without being permanently scarred – simply do his or her life duty to the best of their abilities. 

Lastly, the role of caregiver can include a leaders who are responsible for the well-being of their stakeholders – from the level of family, to organisation, to community, to entire nations. 

What do you think? Do you also have stories as a caregiver that would help others with useful perspective, strategies and attitude? Do share 🙂

#Resilience #CareGivers #Tools #Skills #Prep

Comment: Is there any tip/hack that you have personally used in order to learn things quickly which has not been covered in this blog?

Let me know in the comment section below, I would love to hear your stories.